In 2006, Torquere Press released my first ever anthology, Sleeping Beauty, Indeed, an e-book collection of 10 lesbian fairy tales by the likes of yuki_onna, erzebet, newbabel, weyrdchic, stakebait, pallid_regina, julia_talbot, kittydesade, Kori Amador and AJ Grant. It went on to be shortlisted for the Gaylaxicon Spectrum Award, as did weyrdchic,'s amazing story, "Voce," (which I think truly deserved to be in a Year's Best anthology somewhere, but that's neither here nor there).

I'm very proud of this wonderful collection, and thrilled that Lethe Press is reprinting it in both dead tree and e-book form (the latter of which is already available), complete with not only a gorgeous new cover by Toby Johnson, but a gorgeous new font. I've also corrected a few egregious typos that I somehow missed in the Torquere edition.

If you didn't buy the Torquere edition, please do pick this up. It's a fantastic book and perfect for summer time.

To celebrate Sleeping Beauty, Indeed's re-release I will also be doing a number of cool things, including a contest for a handmade necklace based on "Voce." Stay tuned for more!

Home, the cat's being extra cuddlesome, and the damn computer is, of course, freaking me out and pissing me off majorly.

Had a great time and met a lot of fun new people, and many great longstanding friends. More when I've caught up with work.

It looks like Sarah Palin just resigned. :O

So I've got a ton of work to finish between now and Readercon (for which I still have to buy a membership, don't I?), which includes making some jewelry for poems in Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts & Monsters to show off in Massachusetts. Oh yes, I'm doing that again, after depression kind of ground that to a halt in January or so. Jewelry, revisions, deadlines, short stories and poems to write, and reviews. But right now, I am glad to be busy. It keeps the summer anxiety at bay.

And of course life hasn't stopped being the life it has become in 2009, either. (Seriously, you guys. Crying before 9:00 a.m. is just awesome! Really, you should all try it, sometime.)

I wish I had at least a little time to go see a movie or something, but no dice.

If you haven't voted yet, here's the link. You've only got about two more hours to vote, so get clicking the drop down menus while clicking is good :)

http://community.livejournal.com/lj_election_en/31595.html

Please do forgive the lack of updates. Work ate them.

Surfacing very briefly to ask the LJ Hivemind a question. I've decided to go ahead with e-book and audiobook releases of my poetry, but I need some recording software and hardware first. What sound recording programs (for PCs) do you recommend? My only requirements are that they not take up a ton of room on my hard drive and that they be at least moderately user-friendly/have a learning curve someone who isn't a professional sound designer can master. I know Audacity, of course, but are there any other/better options?

And what microphones do you like?

I'm exhausted, suffering from insomnia (seven hours of sleep in two days, ma!) and owe a ton of people emails and writing, which I'm working on finishing up today while watching over a sick family member. So I'll just bump my Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts, & Monsters book sale post by linking to this post over at adoptingcat.

Summary for those just tuning in: I have 17 copies of my latest poetry book for sale thanks to a release party that didn't happen. yuki_onna, aka author Catherynne M. Valente, is in a rough place financially now, so I'm offering the following. The book retails for about $20 ($19.95), and I'm offering to sell it for $15. One dollar at the $15 price goes to Cat; if you want to pay the full $20, six dollars goes to her.

Please buy a copy if you haven't yet so Cat and I can both pay some bills. Or just pray that I can get some sleep soon because I'm beginning to feel ill.

ETA: No sleep makes Jo forgetful. charlesatan has reviewed FDG&M over at Bibliophile Stalker, and said some incredibly kind things. An excerpt with links:

What's tricky with poetry collections is that there's a point when mental fatigue sets in and one needs to leave the poems for some time before revisiting them. That's not the case with Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts and Monsters as a whiff of the first poem was enough to enthrall me to finish the book in one sitting. How JoSelle Vanderhooft accomplishes this is through her prose-poem approach: the lines are direct rather than metaphorical (although the entire poem is layered) and there's a clear narrative structure. That's not to say Vanderhooft doesn't have other assets, such as her skill in creating descriptive images or wondrous scenes, and when she does use repetition, they are effective and poignant.

When we look at the collection as a whole, another commendable element is how Vanderhooft is faithful to the theme. Even without looking at the title, one gets a sense that this is a book on daughters, with fathers as the foil or the point of view of the reader. The poet manages to accomplish this repeatedly without sounding repetitive or dull. Another motif present in Vaderhooft's writing is how the natural world is often a significant element, giving the entire book a primal and earthly feel.

It's Friday, so let's have a little fun, yeah?

rm pointed me to a fun little meme. Fandom people on my friends list (and those of you who aren't fandom people but know what "shipping" means*: who do you ship me with?





* Ship: short for 'relationship'. In fandom this means a romantic or sexual couple/threesome/foursome a fan likes. For example, let's say you're a Star Trek fan who likes the idea of Captain Kirk and Spock as a couple. You would then be said to "ship" Kirk/Spock.

In case you haven't heard yet (and given the overlap of our friends' lists, I'd be shocked if you hadn't), yuki_onna, aka Catherynne M. Valente, is a truly fantastic writer who has been, like many writers, hit particularly hard by this economic downturn/recession, as she explains in this link. To get some money to pay for rent and food she'll be writing a YA novel called The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, a bit of which appears in her book Palimpsest, and posting it online starting Monday, complete with a Paypal button for those who want to donate (which I hope is all of you who read it). In the proud tradition of helpvera and con_or_bust, there is now adoptingcat, an LJ community where people are auctioning off some fabulous goods to help her raise money.

I'm also going to offer this. You know how I'm having that book sale now to get rid of copies of Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts, & Monsters that didn't get sold at the CONduit Release Party That Didn't Happen? Well, I have 19 of those 24 left, and I will donate $1.00 for each book sold to Cat. If you're willing to pay $20 for the book (as some of you have so generously done <3), I will donate $6.00 per book to Cat (that's $1.00 plus the $5 additional dollars you pay).

Sound good? As always, if you can't afford to buy a book/donate to Cat, please disseminate news of Cat's situation. <3

So I have 24 unsold copies of Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts, & Monsters in a box. And as pretty as they are, I don't need or want them hanging around here like lazy teenagers on a Saturday night. Especially because they're about to be joined by 25 more sisters. Plus, I really needed the money that would have come from selling them at the CONduit Release Party That Never Was. Like three weeks ago.

Here's what I'm proposing. The books are normally $19.95. I'll sell them for $15 including shipping until all 24 are gone. And if I sell this box, I'll also share a poem with you that didn't make it into the book titled "The Priest's Daughter." So you get: my poetry, Marge Simon's gorgeous oil pencil drawings (check out the cover image above), a signature in the book and, if we're all lucky, a free poem, published exclusively on this LJ.

Here's another poem from the book if you're still not convinced.

Winter’s Daughter

She feels his howling
sharp along her spine, just like the cold that snaps
the parchment-curled tea roses and blisters
late corn buboe-black: She turns
her face into the breeze as autumn smokes and coughs. Oak leaves crack
sienna, ochre, russet, bole and bonfires musk
the air like feral cats. On porch and stoop the pumpkin princes
grin their disobedience at snow and ice,
which will follow them, Winter’s daughter scolds,
sure as dusk and spoilage. When their saw smiles
flicker with their candles,
she smiles herself.
Next morning, hoarfrost welts them.

Winter moves
In silence only she can understand. Steel rain and mountain
shadow telegraph his coming like signal fires
proclaimed a victory in darker times.
That familiar crawl of rot just
shy of freeze twitches through her viscera -- squash
seed bloat and frost-sweating weeds. Her ghast head
tilts with the slanting light as she anticipates
the snow’s numb thrill, the blood-edged chill of iron gates.
He will come soon,
her bones and joints proclaim.
Soon, so very soon.

Papa always keeps his promises.
And this season’s sure to be the worst.
That promise is her own.

Winter’s daughter steps
high through the amber grain, touches
close across rachis and glume. Hoar
glazes her caress, and by next morning
they hang upon their stalks like tired balloons.
She moves proud-footed, smoke hair
sail-wide as shadows lengthen into chill.
The furrows tremble at her cat-like coming; one by one
they throw down their yield as sacrifice.
Dutiful, she gathers grapes and pulverized raspberries in her sweeping skirts.
These will serve as Winter’s welcome feast
after his chariot wheels startle the ponds to ice.

Winter’s daughter sweeps
with a besom of pale straw –
plump from strawberries,
firm from peaches
fire from oaks.
When crickets descent like pilgrims into the mulch,
and pear trees
lose all patience with their leaves,
Winter’s daughter wipes her dusty hands.
and knows her work is done.

Now Winter’s daughter waits
head held rooftop-high
in the smoke’s swirl and the leaves’ maelstrom,
her fingers fold and unfold like Vs of crows
as they wing south.
Perched on a fence post,
draped across skeletal dun grass
regal atop the scarecrow’s ruined back,
she watches the mountain fog creeps lower,
lower into ice and snow.
Soon he will come in swirl and blizzard
pin her hair high with holly berries,
hold her close as evergreens hold their pins.
She shuts her eyes and whispers,
“Soon. Soon. Soon.”

On their brittle stalks,
the rose-hips pulse like hearts –
Thick
and slow.


Sound good? Good. Yeah, yeah. I know all about poetry being "a hard sell" or whatever, but you all know my poems. They're every bit as much stories as they are poetry. So you can't use I don't like poe-tree as an excuse ;). Just leave a comment here or paypal $15 to upstart(.) crow @ gmail (.) com. If you're feeling generous, an extra buck or so to cover the exorbitant fees Paypal charges per transaction would be helpful, but is not required.

Oh, and if you want to help me but can't afford this book, I'd be willing to trade for a few copies (I like perfume, beads, hair sticks and things of that stripe). "Pimping" (ugh, hate that word) a link to this entry would also be made of win and delight.

So is Google on strike tonight, or something?

ETA: Now Twitter is throwing Page load errors. What the hell is going on?

Wow.

A friend just sent me this.

Seriously, just watch it.



They can't shut us out forever.

And dammit, for the second time in two days I'm crying again, both times because I was moved by reminders of just how noble, kind and downright just and holy people can be.

Yes! Twenty-five copies of this smashing little book are now in my hot little hands, after several delays involving printers and, amazingly, the city of Newark, NJ. LOL don't ask.

And um ... what to say about it? Other than the usual, "You seriously need to buy one for every room in your house, and possibly two for each family member and friend."?

Well, there's this. I usually write poetry collections fast when I'm not distracted with other work, or with depression, which is like having a second full-time job, only one in a condemned building, with a passive-aggressive boss and co-workers who wander out for a smoke every 5 minutes. I wrote the bulk of The Memory Palace in three months, for example. Well, Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts, & Monsters took me roughly a year and is about 2/3 Memory Palace's size. So why was that? Well for one thing, it was the "second job" in the crummy neighborhood. It was also because these poems were just damn hard to write. Not only emotionally (as is anything involving fathers and daughters for me), but stylistically and technically, and creatively. They're probably some of the strongest and most competent I've ever written, and I am beyond proud to call them mine.


Here's what shadesong had to say in FDGM's first (and so far sole) review:

My new LJ subtitle is “freelance alchemist”. Vanderhooft could use that title herself. As she did in The Memory Palace, she uses poetry to transmute her complex relationship with her father; where her processing was stripped bare in The Memory Palace, it is here viewed through lenses of folktales and fables, science fiction and horror. The title “The Robot’s Daughter” made me laugh, but the story so artfully shaped within is one of the most poignant in the collection. “The Mad Scientist’s Daughter” is breathtaking in ways that I’ve yet to fully articulate; like the daughter in this poem, Vanderhooft describes the darkness at the heart by tracing, suggesting; it’s a lovely and fitting use of negative space. There are quiet acts of desperation and revenge by bitter daughters, and love and longing by others. The standout for me is a matched set: “The Step-Father” and “The Step-Daughter”, a mirror, two people trying to find a way to relate to each other in a world that defines their relationship as one of opposition.

“The Vampire’s Daughter” is another note-perfect poem. I’ve never seen vampirism handled the way it is here, and it’s brilliant in a way that makes me wonder why I never saw things that way before. It’s in the form of an interview - a startling departure at first, but ideal for what Vanderhooft needs to accomplish here, and boy, does she pull it off. It’s the strongest piece in a book full of strong pieces, and it lingered in my mind for days afterward.

“Zeus’s Daughter” closes the collection, and it hits all the right notes, given that much of this has been Vanderhooft’s own exploration of herself as a daughter. It is bittersweet, wistful, and calm. The last words of the collection are those of closure: “It’s alright. It really is alright.”

Altogether, this collection is a wonderful examination of a relationship so rarely explored with this sort of delicacy and depth. I enjoyed Vanderhooft’s earlier work, but mining this territory has made her even better - each collection builds on the last, and I can’t wait til the next.

There is a lot of horror in these 25 poems, and a lot of pain, which shouldn't strike most of my readers as peculiar. At the risk of sounding like I should be Bartending. At a Goth club. In the dark.: Life is pretty painful and horrifying (and often downright horrible), and I try not to sidestep this truth in my work. So, yes, a lot of these poems on vampires, ghosts, robots, gods and monsters and their offspring are "dark," but they are just as often tender, loving, painful and even sweet. Writing these poems was a beautiful, exhausting and ultimately triumphant journey for me, and I think they will take you on a journey too, no matter your sex, your gender identity or whether or not you've ever had or been a daughter or a father. Marge Simon's illustrations are, as always, beautiful and perfectly matched to my poetry. It's an honor to work with her, and I don't know where I'd be without her great work.

Here's another preview for those of you who may not yet be convinced. One of the gentler ones.

The Grocer’s Daughter

Among the cabbages it happened,
among the rampion and broccoli,
the firm grapes dark as open eyes.
It happened like leaves landing in a ditch;
he looked, and she was there
lumped beneath the tomatoes’ blistered shadows,
her little fists hard as walnut shells,
mouth wide and screaming as a pomegranate
spilled onto a plate—
he saw and feared as one.

Like any man, like any proper grocer,
he knew the seasons like his sleeps,
and the garden like his enemy.
But not this, no not such things as mushroom girls
sprouting from sweet compost –
the blush of female flesh was strange to him;
his trade lay in scales and cold cucumber skins.
Yet, he knew as any grocer knows
the cruelty of leaving cherries
for blackbirds and spiders.
So cursing his luck like a blighted crop
he pulled her from the soil and swore to tend her
like his persimmons – with one eye for spoilage,
another for the market.

A girl, even one found growing in a garden, he soon learned
needs but a bit at first – sunlight,
some air but more of protective shade,
the better to spore in the rich nitrates he apportioned daily.
But gradually as spring, her frail mouth
burst with words; want, need, now
and, the strangest, papa,
each flowering inside his tick veins
new fruits he cannot prune, package or sell
or even classify.
It seems as though, he muses, all his stock
had tumbled into him and left him full
as any burgher after breakfast.
The mushroom baby – almost a girl now –
laughs in the bedroom, having grown too big for her patch of earth.
His breath catches, and he wonders
when it was that she became a daughter.

He does not remember when the budding started,
if it was in the garden weeding the sharp onion bed,
or in the grocery, spray beading on the aubergines,
the bright coin changing hands like prayers.
Still, it does not really matter, he supposes,
because his mushroom fingers still have strength
and his mushroom skin is not so strange it scares the goodwives.
If anything, his new closeness to the soil
has taught him the kind of husbandry
his ex-wife never saw,
and a kind of gentle parentage.

Now she bounces in his mycelial arms
her impossible face turned upwards in a smile so wide
he feels his being swell like a cornucopia
and out spills strawberries and pineapples,
cabbages and grapes darker than earth.

If you want to get the book, it would normally cost you $20 through VanZeno Press' Web site. But if you buy it from me, I'll sell it to you for $17.00, including shipping, and also scribble my name in it. Comment here, or email me at upstart (dot!) crow (at!) gmail (dot!) com (which is also my Paypal address).

So, yeah. That's about it. Longest book announcement post evar, Y/N?

The books (25 of them!) arrived with today's post. I will be posting pictures (hopefully) on Monday, along with an excerpt and purchasing information. Waiting because people tend to vacate LJ on the weekends, and I don't wanna spam with two posts.

But yay! At last they're in my hands!!!!!!!!! I can breathe just a bit easier now!

To preface this post, a little about who I am: I'm a white fan and creator who is also female, queer, mentally ill, a religious minority in her home state (a Catholic among Mormons) and a fairly dark-skinned white person. I am not a fan or creator of "pallor" (as I have seen some people identifying of late) because I am not pale. In fact, people often stop me on the street and literally DEMAND to know my racial background.

(ETA: Since I'm guessing the above has been problematic to at least one person who has read this post: I included it not because I'm "trying hard" to show how oppressed I am or to play the oppression olympics, but to show that while I do not have privilege in several areas, race isn't one of them -- even if I may not appear as white to some people. I suppose I did a bad job with this part of the post, and I apologize. If this is not the problem with my post that one reader had, then I'm afraid I'm currently at a loss.)

Of course, this doesn't mean that I don't have white privilege. I do, and likely more than most people because my home state is one of the whitest in the U.S.A. and growing up I didn't encounter many people of color. All of this means that I am blogging today as a person with a whole lot of privilege when it comes to race, and I am thankful for foc_u's willingness (and, I would hazard to guess, patience) to allow white people to post in support of fans of color.

So. Why, as a white person, do I post in support of foc_u and fans and creators of color?

Because fans and creators of color should have the same freedoms I have in fandom: to feel welcome at cons, in online communities and fora, in panel discussions and elsewhere; and to not be targeted for violence, subject to insult, or to carelessness.

Because people of color shouldn't have to deal with educating ignorant white people who can damn well educate ourselves on how not to say and do violent, insulting, minimizing and racist things.

Because seriously, white fans and creators, there are thousands upon thousands of blog posts, articles, books, films and multi-media presentations that are easily found on the subject that can help in your education.*

Because the fact that many white fans and creators are well-intentioned isn't enough. Intent has to be backed with effort, thoughtfulness, self-reflection and a willingness to listen and accept criticism -- and to act upon that criticism, even when it isn't said in a "tone" that we would prefer. As well as willing to defer to people who know an issue better than we do -- in this case, people of color who understand more about racism, having been on the receiving end of it, than whites do.

Because fans of color should have stories about people who look like them and share their cultural background -- and not just victims, villains or stereotypes, either.

Because people -- all people -- need stories in which they have a stake.

Because fans and creators of color exist, and have always existed, in large numbers, just as female fans, transgender fans, gay/lesbian/bisexual fans and non English-speaking fans exist and have always existed in large numbers. Just because some (or most) white fans and creators haven't noticed their existence does not make that existence invalid.

Because I think that white fans and creators can do so much better than RaceFail.

Because fandom as a whole is stronger, more vibrant and all-around healthier and BETTER when the above things happen.

Because the world is also better when we acknowledge differences in race and what those differences actually mean instead of silencing those discussions or refusing to engage in them.

Because SF/F/H and its fandoms can change the world. And if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have taken the time to blog about this today.

Thank you for allowing me to participate in this discussion, foc_u. I hope what I have had to say is valuable, and contributes to supporting rather than harming the fans of color and their allies who have posted today.

* Note: I'm not sure, sometimes, where the line falls between asking a genuine question (or for clarification) and making demands to be taught. Of course, this depends on the individual, but I'm sure I have crossed that line before. I'm trying my best to understand and to do better.

Also asked on my Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/godaughterdeath (LOL yeah, I'm obsessed with the Godfather Death story. Why d'you ask?):

Are you truly content with your life? Or content for the most part? I don't care about happiness so much, but contentment. Is it possible? It seems like nobody in my life is, lest of all me, and I'm wondering if anyone is these days.

I've just heard from my publisher, and Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts, & Monsters is heading to the printer tomorrow. Which means that I should have them in hand in time for CONduit on Memorial Day Weekend. Please, God. Let that go on schedule, OK? It's been such a horrible year. Asking one little, tiny thing like this to not get fucked up isn't much to ask, is it?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about publicity lately and looking around at companies that specialize in book trailers. The trailers I've seen haven't ... really impressed me. And it seems like they haven't really impressed YouTubers, either, since the professionally made ones tend to get all of 100 views. And I just know that there are people reading my LJ who can do so much better. Or people reading the LJs of people reading my LJ, or people reading the LJs of LJs of people reading my LJ or ... yeeeah.

So, would anybody out there like to make me a book trailer? There's money in it for you. And/or things for trade. And eternal gratitude. In all sorts of combinations.

Comment here or email me at the usual address: upstart(dot!) crow (at!) gmail (dot!) com. And also as usual: If you can't/don't want to make one, but know someone who might, please forward this along.

Well, crap. I hadn't known that May 1 was Blogging Against Disablism Day :(. So I'll make a big post about it on Monday.

Just to warn you, it's going to be a very angry post, because I've dealt with more psychophobia hitting me in my face lately than I care to.

OK, blurbs for Fathers, Daughters, Ghosts & Monsters are received and sent to publisher. Thanks so much to everyone who blurbed or offered to blurb! You've made my life a hell of a lot easier.

Now that I have reviews for the back of the book, I'm gonna need reviews for the book elsewhere -- on blogs, review sites, basically anywhere that will have it. It's really important to me that this poetry book sells well, especially since poetry is such a hard sell anymore. And if your poetry book is a weird little "Burtonesque" thing (as one blurb-writer described it) about the daughters of sorcerers, dream-stealers, ghosts, mad scientists, monsters, gardeners and incestuous bankers, then it needs even more help than that!

So, here's what I need from you, gentle readers. If you're willing to review the book, let me know and I'll send you a .pdf just as soon as I have the final. I don't really care how high traffic your blog is (though high-traffic bloggers are more than welcome to review!). I just want word of the book out there. I'd prefer not to give out hard copies unless there is a very compelling reason, especially since this is not a very big collection. But if you must have one for whatever reason, we'll work something out. That said, please only ask for a copy if you're sure you can review it before September. I just can't afford to give out free copies (though I wish I could just give these away, believe me!).

While glowing, awesome reviews are always great, if you honestly hate the book and say so, I won't whine and stomp or be weird about it. I appreciate people telling the truth about what they feel and what they like or dislike. That's just polite, you know?

Feel free to comment here or email me at upstart.crow (at!) gmail (dot!) com if you're interested. And if you're not, but want to help out, please pass word along to any reviewers, blogs or editors you know who might be interested.

I have such an awesome friends list. *hugs you all*

Happy to announce this! It looks like Readercon is going to work out for me. And I'm really thrilled that it will. I usually like to do something in July because it's the worst month of the year for me (anniversaries of my father's suicide and grandfather's death within two days of each other majorly suck).

So, yay! :)

Who do I talk to about getting on programming? Aside from a few readings, I've never been on a panel at Readercon :/